outer limits?

Several weeks ago, we had some forest fires in the jersey pinelands. Sometimes I got to work right through the area. Stopped today and took some pictures. Like a scene from another planet....

near perfection

I came home today and inspected my garden- found this almost perfect rose bloom. Too bad you can't smell it as well!

Dave Brubeck concert

Dave Brubeck is coming to the Trenton Patriots Theatre at the War Memorial on June 8th.
I grew up mostly in Wilton , Ct, where Dave lived with his family, and gave concerts yearly to benefit the schools.
Recently, I've seen him at the Newport Jazz Festival. Don't miss this concert! He is still a one of a kind player.

Don Juan

My Don Juan rose this year is just spectacular right now. ... covered with hundreds of blossoms!

gardens

My garden is tiny, but the plants just love it! ( so do the weeds....sigh)

Here are my beautiful iris, which were given to me by a very good friend!

The white petal on the purple and white positively glow. And I have a chaotic riot of columbine, the seeds came for another very good friend. The columbine make their own mutations, here is a strange one this year.

Prius Owners meet!

We had another NJ Prius owners meet last week!

This was at the Blue Rock in Keyport. I dorve round and round because the directions from the computer leave much to br deisred.

The prize goes to finman for coming all the way from Harrisburg PA! Dan came from DC and Trevor & Angel from Staten Island.

I believe a good time was had by all!

new words

For working people or for those who can still remember what it was like to work. NEW WORDS FOR 2007 : Essential vocabulary additions for theworkplace (and elsewhere)!!!
1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGULL MANAGER : A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise,craps on everything, and then leaves.
3. ASSMOSIS : The process by which some people seem to absorbsuccess and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than workinghard.
4. SALMON DAY : The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.
6. PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
8. SITCOMs : Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
9. STRESS PUPPY : A person who seems to thrive on being stressed outand whiny.
10. SWIPEOUT : An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
11. XEROX SUBSIDY : Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
12. IRRITAINMENT : Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE : The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning justabove the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
15. 404 : Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web errorMessage "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not belocated.
16. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.
17. OHNOSECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send onanemotionally angry email to your boss by mistake).
18. WOOFS : Well-Off Older Folks.
19. CROP DUSTING : Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

A Tale of Two Houses

Whether or not this is true, it is something for us all to consider:
1: The four-bedroom home was planned so that "every room has a relationship with something in the landscape that's different from the room next door. Each of the rooms feels like a slightly different place."
The resulting single-story house is a paragon of environmental planning. The passive-solar house is built of honey-colored nativelimestone and positioned to absorb winter sunlight, warming the interior walkways and walls of the 4,000-square-foot residence. Geothermal heat pumps circulate water through pipes buried 300 feet deep in the ground. These waters pass through a heat exchange system that keeps the home warm in winter and cool in summer. A 25,000-gallon underground cistern collects rainwater gathered from roof urns; wastewater from sinks, toilets, and showers cascades into underground purifying tanks and is also funneled into the cistern.
The water from the cistern is then used to irrigate the landscaping around the four-bedroom home, (which) uses indigenous grasses, shrubs, and flowers to complete the exterior treatment of the home. In addition to its minimal environmental impact, the look and layout of the house reflect one of the paramount priorities: relaxation. A spacious 10-foot porch wraps completely around the residence and beckons the family outdoors. With few hallways to speak of, family and guests make their way from room to room either directly or by way of the porch. "The house doesn't hold you in. Where the porch ends there is grass. There is no step-up at all." This house consumes 25% of the energy of an average American home.
(Source: Cowboys and Indians Magazine, Oct. 2002 and Chicago Tribune April 2001.)
House 2: This 20-room, 8-bathroom house consumes more electricity every month than the average American household uses in an entire year. The average household in America consumes 10,656 kilowatt-hours (kWh) per year, according to the Department of Energy. In 2006, this house devoured nearly 221,000 kWh, more than 20 times the national average. Last August alone, the house burned through 22,619 kWh, guzzling more than twice the electricity in one month than an average American family uses in an entire year. As a result of this energy consumption, the average monthly electric bill topped $1,359. Also, natural gas bills for this house and guest house averaged $1,080 per month last year. In total, this house had nearly $30,000 in combined electricity and natural gas bills for 2006.

Belgiium trip- day 1

We flew out in the evening of February 26 from Newark, arriving in Cologne the morning of the 27th. No time was wasted gathering the group and heading to Dusseldorf for beer & lunch.
A few of the brew houses we visited before lunch at Uerige to taste the Alt beer:
Schumacher im Goldenen Kessel

Im Weissen Bären for Frankenheim

Schlussel

Fuchschen
The tour and lunch at Uerige were very interesting. We we quite overwhelmed with the delicious pork that served along with copious amounts or beer!
Then it was off to Cologne, a brief time to settle at the hotel, then time for Kolsch!

Travels with beer!

Just back from the Ale St News trip to Belgium! what a blast- more comments soon!

EVE'S STORY

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain," reported Eve.
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc.......... she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced."That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?""Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."God thought for a moment and said, " You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let's see............where did I put the useless boob?"
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that crap about the rib?

Dogs and Cats!

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary: Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what thismeans, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that hereports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.... for now....

taking it with you

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real "miser". Just before he died, he said to his wife ... "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.
Well, he died.
He was laid out in the casket; his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a moment!" She came over with a small metal box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket and rolled it away. Her friend said, "I know you were not fool enough to put all that money in the casket."
The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you really put that money in the casket !?!?!?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... if he can cash it, he can spend it."

more red tape

I did not check this out to see if it is fact or fiction, but it's a good story either way!

Part of rebuilding New Orleans causes residents to often be challenged With the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of Years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, Houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes Making it quite difficult to establish ownership. A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove Satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, Which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, He received the following reply.
(Actual letter): "Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, We note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared And presented the application, we must point out that you have only Cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the Title back to its origin."
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter): "Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years Covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated Person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, Would Not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, The year of origin Identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land Prior to U.S. Ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it By Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, Who had been granted the privilege of seeking new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful About titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of The Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, Is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, It is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin And His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, The world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?"
The loan was approved

Winter's back!

DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER December 8 - 6:00 PMIt started to snow. The first snow of the season andthe wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours bythe window watching the huge soft flakes drift downfrom heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I lovesnow!
December 9-We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snowcovering every inch of the landscape. What afantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place inthe whole world? Moving here was the best idea I'veever had! Shovelled for the first time in years andfelt like a boy again. I did both our driveway andthe sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplough camealong and covered up the sidewalks and closed in thedriveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfectlife!
December 12-The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such adisappointment! My neighbour tells me not to worry-we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so muchsnow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to seesnow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob issuch a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbour.
December 14-Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. Thetemperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shovelling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplough came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn'trealize I would have to do quite this much shovelling,but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so. December 15 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16-Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17- Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own livingroom.
December 20-Electricity' s back on, but had another 14 inches ofthe damn stuff last night. More shovelling! Took all day. The damn snowplough came by twice. Tried to find a neighbour kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22-Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 moreinches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold,it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel andthen I had to piss. By the time I got undressed,pissed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plough on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
December 23-Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did butI think she's lying.
December 24 -6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplough, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplough, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he comes down the street at a 100miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've justbeen! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmasc arols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplough.
December 25-Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damnslop tonight - Snowed in. The idea of shovellingmakes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then thesnowplough driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26-Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27-Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze;plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28-Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 29 -10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I everheard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30-Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plough driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.
December 31-I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shovelling.
January 8-Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

More trivia

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left(palindromes).
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. (Some days that's about what my memory span is)
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years. (I know some people that could do this too.)
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without kneecaps They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Diets

ITALIAN PASTA DIET -- IT REALLY WORKS !!1 You walka pasta da bakery.2.. You walka pasta da candy store.3.. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop.4... You walka pasta da table and fridge.You will lose weight!
AND......CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?
For those of you who watch what you eat,here's the final word on nutrition and health.It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Cuckoo?

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000.If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000 milestone money. And, as she suspected, the million-dollar question was no pushover.Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds?
A The condor
B. The buzzard
C. The cuckoo
D. The vulture
The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. To make matters worse, she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline, and the woman had hoped against hope that she would not have touse it, mainly because the only friend that she knew would be home happened to be a blonde. But she had no alternative.She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. Theanswer is C: The cuckoo."The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one that her friend had given her. Considering that her friend was a blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other hand - the blonde had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded."I need an answer," said Regis. Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo.""Is that your final answer?" asked Regis."Yes, that is my final answer."Two minutes later, Regis said , "I regret to inform you that that answer is... absolutely correct. You are now a millionaire!"Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for herfamily and friends - including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars."Jenny, I just do not know how to thank you," said thecontestant."Because you knew the answer to that final question, I am now a millionaire. It was the assuredness with which you answered thequestion that convinced me to go with your choice. By the way... how did you happen to know the right answer?""Oh, come on," said the blonde, "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks."

After honeymoon

A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they gotback, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well," said her mother,"so how was the honeymoon?"
Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Samstarted using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before!I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home...,PLEASE MAMA!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"
"Darling, baby, you must! tell me what has you so upset. Tell your motherthese horrible 4-letter words!"
Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama.., he used words like: dust, wash,iron, cook..."
"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother.

More quotes

>> "People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be."> - Abraham Lincoln>
"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your > smile can be the source of your joy."> - Thich Nhat Hahn>
"Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by > dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways."> - Stephen Vincent Benét>
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it."> - Dennis P. Kimbro>
"Don't be afraid to fail because only through failure do you learn to > succeed."> - Unknown> Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~"Lillian, you > should have remained a virgin."> -- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)>
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not > pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but > fine against a wall."> -- Eleanor Roosevelt> Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. > I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that > statement.> -- Mark Twain>
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good > ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.> -- George Burns>
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.> -- Victor Borge>
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.> -- Mark Twain>
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if > you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.> -- Socrates>
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.> -- Groucho Marx>
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she > stops to breathe.> -- Jimmy Durante>
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.> -- Zsa Zsa Gabor>
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food > groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.> -- Alex Levine>
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.> -- Rodney Dangerfield> Money can't buy you happiness .. but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.> -- Spike Milligan>
I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be dangerous to offer me > the position.> -- Mark Twain>
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.> -- Joe Namath>
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.> Then it's time for my nap.> -- Bob Hope>
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.> -- W.C. Fields>
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.> -- Will Rogers>
Don't worry about avoiding temptation . as you grow older, it will avoid you.> -- Winston Churchill>
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.> -- Phyllis Diller>
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.> -- Billy Crystal>
If we did all the things that we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.> - Thomas Edison>
Everyone has problems, some are just better at hiding them."> - Unknown>
Only by going too far can one possibly find out how far one can go."> - Jon dyer>
People only see what they are prepared to see."> - Ralph Waldo Emerson>
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.> Open your eyes, open your heart and let the wisdom and understanding > flow into you.> Give me a sense of humor, Lord;> Give me the grace to see a joke,> To get some humor out of life,> And pass it on to other folk.